Cyber Relationship At a Closer Look

So... what is cyber relationship?

Definition:

• Relationship that either was generated or continue solely through the internet as a medium for meeting and/ or communication
• Relationship maybe illicit, although not in all circumstances

INTRODUCTION

At such internet times, the distance with people from all around the world are now brought so much closer together just by clicks. With internet, we are able to "meet" people virtually we would never have the opportunity to be able to do so in real life.

The anonymity the internet provides in one respect, the perfect shield for us to let our guards down and be ourselves, to people we do not know miles away. We feel a sense of safety and secure in spilling our hurts and emotions to someone we know we may never will meet in person.

This is the power to the internet.

Nevertheless, there are many other things we can do online. Online shopping, watching dramas, researching for information just to name a few.

Remember times when people gasp in shock when couples say that they met one another over the internet? Its different now. Cyber relationships is becoming a norm. People relying on dating websites to get dates now...

I do not have anything against this kind of cyber relationship. Well, basically because this is not exactly what i mean as "cyber relationship". For me, it is when a couple from behind the screen, one on each, whom does not meet out in real life and have no idea who the other party is, do their dates and meet up and being true to each other online... The thing is, if you have a spouse (in real life we are saying here), do you count a relationship in the virtual world, as cheating?

There are other types of cyber relationships too. Some are getting to an online dating website to date and relying on social networking platforms to know people etc

Let us now take a closer look at cyber relationship...

PROS

1. Advantage for people who are an introvert or people who do not feel comfortable meeting new people in public areas or are new to an area
2. Able to "pick and choose" people you are interested in and meet them easily than in real life
3. No serious commitment required
4. More freedom
5. Able to choose what you want to hide
6. Very little or no conflicts with each other
7. Decrease one's loneliness and create a type of social life
8. Possibility of creating a genuine relationship in the real life

CONS

1. It is not real

2. "Couples" feel distant as there is no physical contact

3. Constant use of cyberspace for communication(to your "partner") loses important factors of the social atmosphere

• Like sense of sight, touch, smell, taste, hearing and body language
• When we talk to someone face to face, we are able to get many messages from them just by their tone of voice, body language and facial expressions
• These actions give us almost as much information as the words we hear
• Something what we cannot experience in the virtual world
• You can click here to look more indepth about this con
  

4. What you see may not be what you get

• People may lie and fabricate identities, things just to get anything they want
• You may then get hurt

5. Risky; may attract the wrong people

• E.g Perverts, pedophiles
• Leads to harassment, stalking etc

6. Increase of cyber relationships may lead to decrease of birth rate then to population

• People spend more time online than going out to socialize, or think think that marriage is not a need anymore or do not want to marry as a relationship online is enough already
  

7. Loss of social life in real life for the future generations

• Everything will be done online thus social life will lose itself slowly as people no longer socialize face to face

8. People will not be able to differentiate what is real emotions with people in the real life and what is not anymore

9. People may get cheated as their "partners" can have several different "partners"

10. Waste of time as people may not get what they desired for

11. People may start to adopt negative thinking like "relationships ain't real" from their experience with cyber relationships

So, Why Do People Still Get Into a Cyber Relationship?

Answer: The anonymity of the whole internet scene

For example,

1. If a husband is having problems with his wife, quarrelling and fighting all the time, and he feels she do not listen to him anymore, he is only a few clicks away from some woman who is wiling to give him what he needs, to satisfy him mentally, without any other responsibilities of a relationship.

2. If a woman is fighting with her husband, feels unappreciated and taken for granted by the husband, she only needs to turn on her monitor and connect to the internet to find a man on the other side of the screen who will tell her all those things her wounded ego needs to hear.

3. Like the pros mentioned above, it is for people who are introverts and are uncomfortable in meeting new people in public areas or meeting in person

4. To kill time/ kill their boredom

5. For fun

Lastly,

cyber relationship, cheating or not?

To begin with this, let us watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsbvKdNxabY

Neither is cyber relationship involved in a physical nor sexually relationship but the fact is they are sharing personal thoughts, needs, emotions and opinions with a completely stranger from the web other than your spouse.

Emotional affairs are often more devastating than sexual affairs when the spouse is sharing all the things he is suppose to share with his partner to someone else. It is okay to have online friends and to confide in them, and have the anonymity of the internet to protect you.

But most importantly, where do you draw the line?

The best rule to gauge this is to determine if more time is spent in quality conversation with the online ‘friend’ than with your spouse. If you are spending more time on the computer talking to others than talking to your spouse, then, there is a problem. When you share your personal feelings about your partner with another instead of to your partner, you definitely have an issue.

Basically, when the computer and the people behind it begins to replace your real life connections with people, especially when those cyber relationships are taking the place of time with your partner, you are having a cyber affair. You are CHEATING. Also, if your partner feels as though you are cheating because of the time spent online with another, or you gave something that rightfully should be given to your partner, you are cheating.

SOME SIGNS OF CHEATING

1. Lying about who you are talking to or how much you talk to your cyber friend
2. Lying about the things you discuss with your cyber friend
3. Sneaking around behind your partner’s back in order to communicate with your cyber friend
4. You can look up for more here
   

These are some of my thoughts and research. Do drop me a comment of yours as well!

Thank You!